Now there’s a way to see out the year that was…
With a string of exciting new firsts, during what will be the final week of a very difficult year for many — the year that was 2021.
A string of exciting new firsts I might add, that could not have been more joyous, inspirational or transformative in any way imaginable.
And I have to say, I find it quite amusing that the final week of this year has been the week I have had an abundance of firsts … Which in all honesty, is something I can probably say for the entirety of December of 2021, for all the firsts that have come my way this past month.
I mean, there was my decision to actually start using my YouTube channel to post content…
Not to be outdone by the insanely spectacular chaos I unleashed on our entire household, as I indulged in a three day long Chrissy bake-fest in which I thought it was a great idea to “bless” a select group of very special people in my life.
A “blessing” of an indulgent array of enough festive baked goods to put each and every single one of them into a food induced coma well into the new year!
Which brings me to the Christmas music blaring all hours of the day and night as I embraced my “Happy Place” of Chrissy baking bliss.
Poor Ethan, our youngest (22) who still lives at home and was on annual leave … I’m sure he’ll be blaming me for the nervous tick he has in reaction to Christmas music in years to come, after the week that was, leading up to Christmas day 2021.
Yes, seventy two hours of “Happy Place Chrissy Baking Bliss”!
A time spent very much in my own little world of The Sound of Music colliding with all those beautiful moments of Snow White communing with the animals — all metaphorically wrapped up like a big ol Chrissy gift and embellished with the grandeur of a glittery oversized velveteen bow.
Which, REALLY!?
Oh My Lordy Me!
If ever there was a time to believe that the Spirit of Christmas was in the business of possession — THIS was well and truly THE time to believe that the Spirit of Christmas was a possession kinda gal!
Now, singing to my heart’s content while dancing around my kitchen was one thing!
But wowing Mr Rawson with my own interpretation of the ever so sassy and seductive Santa Baby!?
Oh WOW!
You know, “They” say there is always a first time for everything — although I hardly think there was ever a time I could have imagined feeling so unashamedly unfettered that I could pull off anything near sassy and seductive with a touch of raunch meets burlesque wanna be — all in one clear sweep…
Much less at this age, or time in my life, which I suppose kinda supports the theory that one is never too old to learn a new trick, or even a few…
To grow…
To change…
To symbolically embrace the nature of a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis Transformed!
Like a phoenix gracefully rising from the ashes in a blaze of…
Okay already, I hear ya!
Before I digress, we’ll just leave transformation as a tangent for another day!
(But to be fair to myself, I did actually mention somewhere in a social media post this week that my body is finally allowing me to drink coffee again, for the first time ever this year.)
AND, Oh Oooops!
I do believe my caffeine fuelled overload is beginning to show.
Either that!?
Or this native Scorpio Lady with a Sagittarian Rising Sign is well tapping into the intensely passionate energy of the Moon in Scorpio, before moving into an energetically charged phase of insatiable hunger to learn and grow through delving deep beneath a life evoking Sagittarius Moon…!?
Yup! … I say we simply chalk the singing and dancing up to yet another first to be had in the final month of 2021.
I mean, considering I generally don’t dance in any way, shape or form; along with the fact that Daniel has barely ever heard me sing in over 25 years of our coupleness, and has certainly NEVER seen me dance — much less with any degree of “Raunch Meets Burlesque Wanna Be”! … (Ahem, Bwahaha)
On the other hand, I suppose we could also chalk the singing and dancing up to the whole “Christmas Spirit’s possession gig” too!?
Sassy little minx!
She obviously had her kicks with me, didn’t she!?
And yes!
Oh My Lordy Me!!
I most certainly did enjoy it!!!
Every fun filled, over-played moment of uninhibited sass and cheeky laughter.
(And as we head off into 2022, even I am a smidge unsure as to what this newly unfettered, late blooming sheila — who’s all of a suddenly found her groove — might just do with said newly found groove during the course of 2022.)
All I can say, is stay tuned!
Things could potentially get interesting from here at this rate.
Anyway…
Moving on, to Christmas day, when I did the absolutely “unthinkable” — well for me anyway!
I did a really cheesy selfie-shoot, just for kicks!
And then went to the trouble of making it even cheesier with a tad bit of festive editing…
Look, to tell you the truth, the reindeer antlers were actually bought because our son Joel was looking for a set for his blue heeler pup Patty; to take a cute Christmassy canine greeting style photo.
So, when I found some at the local supermarket I purchased them and took the selfie to say to Joel, “Here, look what your Mum has found for you!”
But you know what, I looked at that selfie and thought, “Why not?” … “Let’s spread some Christmas cheer!”
And THAT right there, is exactly what I did!
Before…
The next, VERY special, first came our way.
Yes, this was an extra special first for 2021.
Celebrating our youngest granddaughter, Henley’s, first Christmas with us.
Precious memories of our son Rhys and daughter-in-law Tracey’s first born child, that will always be cherished and could never be recreated or redone in any way.
And what a lovely few hours it was as a family together!
I really, quite honestly, could not have been happier during Christmas day 2021!
Which, in itself was yet another first all on it’s own.
You see, Christmas day had always been an extremely painful and much dreaded day for a multitude of exceptionally valid reasons, for me.
From the lingering wounds of relational abuse and religious control, to the extremes of sensory overload and far too much people-ing that involves an overabundance of the kind of small-talk that is just a tad too superficial and forced for my introverted, hungering for deep conversation self to endure.
Those being reasons enough on their own to dread Christmas day!
But coupled together with the flow of adhering to the expectations of family tradition and everyone else’s need for me to fulfil their desires for their Christmas day, all while forgoing any desire — much less need — of my own to “people” for no more than only a few hours, before immersing myself in some much needed time in solitude alone.
Yes, Christmas day has always been dreaded by me…
Until Christmas of 2021, when the Spirit of Christmas finally found me and quietly encouraged me to do Christmas my way this time around.
So, with just a smidge amount of people-ing, a well balanced dash of simplicity and a whole load of Hallmark style nostalgia I thoroughly enjoyed my day; before settling into the comfort of soul renewing solitude and the satisfying happy place of reflection that I found myself in by mid-afternoon.
My only regret, being that Dad (having passed away November 7, 2020) never got the opportunity to see how profoundly happy I finally am in this life — after far too many decades of harsh adversity, endless cycles of bitter heartbreak and the physical challenges that long ago became my life.
Although something deep within tells me that as I took a moment to reflect and quietly share with Dad how truly happy I finally am in my life … He already knew!
And even more so, I felt he approved of the happiness I had finally found. The kind of happiness that had consistently eluded me along this weird, wonderful and maddening journey we choose to call life … Yet in that moment feeling Dad’s warm smile that simply said, “It’s now your time to enjoy!”
Also feeling sure that Dad was with Mum and smiling in the moments she enjoyed with her great granddaughter Henley, on Henley’s first Christmas day.
Before we knew it, another Christmas day had come and gone, and Boxing Day was now here…
Which meant SALES!
And do you know what? … Until 2021, I had NEVER done a Boxing Day Sale!
Nope, not a one!
But I certainly have now!
Having said that though, I have to confess to being the “anti-holiday shopping madness” kinda gal that I am. The kinda gal who avoids shopping centres at the best of times, and far more so during any frenzied “Sales Season”.
With that in mind, I created my plan of attack to avoid the madness and stave off the crash of full sensory overload created by the inevitable chaos, the electrically charged environment, the over-saturation of human contact sure to be experienced…
AND, my certain to be spontaneous need to immediately ESCAPE the deafening noise of shopping centre activity.
All before my brain begins to flash glowing neon signs warning of an imminent meltdown at a catastrophic level, should I somehow not escape in time…
✔ The stores were strategically selected.
✔ The budget was carefully set.
✔ The endurance was mustered within.
✔ The mayhem was internally prepared for.
✔ The emergency exits were all scoped out.
✔ And the final exit strategy meticulously planned with detailed precision.
She came to shop early, the stores were eerily — yet ever so pleasingly — calm and surprisingly empty!
And there she indulged in her spending spree without a care in the world — other than making the choice of which glorious piece of bling she would next place in her basket, or which book would fulfil her desire to become swept up and lost in a world of weirdly curious, odd little facts and mysterious folklore(ish) intrigue!
Righto then!? … Back to the first person, and some semblance of at least giving off the appearance of someone with a tad bit of sanity — me thinks!
And you know, choose a book on sale I did…
Now I have to admit, I have no clue as to how good, or potentially how rubbish this book may be.
Nonetheless, what I do love about this book is the tag-line…
UNLEASHED
UNTAMED
UNAPOLOGETIC
Sadly, when I got home I read through some reviews, only to find this particular book is probably a tad too…
- Anti-patriarchal
- Female crying oppression
- Womb obsessed
- Vaj jay-jay orientated
- Pussy power
- New age wild woman claptrap
For me personally … But hey, you never know until you dive into the chapters for yourself!
Potentially rubbish claptrap aside, I still consider this sale item one hell-ov-a good buy — if for nothing else — it has a Cracker of a Mantra as a tag-line that I intend to tap into for 2022!
A Mantra for 2022 that I will be putting on full display to remind myself that after almost half a century on this earth, I have FINALLY freed myself enough from the expectations of others to stand as the woman I was created to be in my own right.
UNLEASHED, UNTAMED and Oh SO UNAPOLOGETIC in simply living my life for ME!
A woman no longer bound as an extension of any other person, their expectations, belief systems or any misguided notions of other people mistakenly believing they know better than me for my life.
The sales all done, I chose to walk home and as I walked up our street, at about 10:30am, I was smacked in the face with the amazing aroma of a first in the final week of 2021 that Daniel was enjoying of his own making.
Yes, the aroma of Dan smoking ham!
No, this is not Daniel’s first rodeo with ham.
But you know what is… SUCCESS!
And Oh my goodness me, “What a damn good ham!”, says wifey me, to my talented man.
Dan the smoking God with an almighty plan to cause a whole neighbourhood to drool from such an amazingly damn fine ham.
A ham created by a smoking hot man known simply as Dan, a God with a weber and a cigar in his hand.
That whiskey swilling, beer brewing, plumbing and gas man smoking his ham…
I tell ya he’s one of a kind, is my damn fine man.
My smoking hot Dan!
And do you know, Daniel’s own firsts didn’t stop there either!
For the first time ever he actually settled himself in to enjoy the Boxing Day Test Match, which he threatens to do every year but can never quite settle himself to just sit and enjoy.
Followed by — shock horror — Daniel choosing to read a book!
Okay, it was the vintage edition of the Weber Cookbook I had purchased for him some time earlier in the year that I busted him reading in place of any device with a screen.
But it was still Daniel reading an actual book with paper pages and binding!
A first for Daniel, for the year, during December of 2021.
Which brings me to our final first as a couple and a family, when Daniel & I, along with Joel and Ethan ventured out for our first visit to a Coffee n Chrome Meet to enjoy taking in some pre-1980s classics…
And that in itself was also the first outing as a family with Ethan’s new lady, Madi, who joined us.
Those firsts, they just kept on a coming.
Even right up to New Years Eve, when I somehow found the confidence to not only wear a dress I never believed I would ever leave the house in…
But also to do an amateurish tongue-in-cheek photo shoot for social media while wearing, seeing out the final day of 2021 with some laughter, fun and fabulous style.
At the end of the day, for the year that 2021 was and has sadly represented for so many of us, I really don’t think it was a bad way to end a year that has brought challenges on a grand scale to the majority of our lives.
All in all, the only thing that could have made this past month any better for me personally, was if Daniel and I had been able to travel over to Victoria to see our second eldest Jacob, our daughter-in-law Natasha and our much treasured grandchildren … Who we haven’t seen in person for over a year now due to Covid.
However plans are a foot to do just that as 2022 has now begun.
And you know, for the personal challenges that I have faced this year, I have to say…
As gruelling and extraordinarily disconcerting as some of the challenges I faced during 2021 were (and to some degree continue to be), I have also experienced 2021 as one of the most undeniably transformative years of my life, in an truly astonishing and remarkably life changing way, from an exceptionally positive perspective.
I will admit, I have mighty high hopes for 2022!
Having had times during the past twelve months where I honestly believed I would not survive 2021 due to my health, having many times that I did not expect to be here to experience the ringing in of this new year for 2022.
Much less with the enthusiasm and insatiable hunger for life that has saturated my entire being as I have gone through a life changing transformation of all body, mind and spirit.
And so here I now sit, musing to myself as I write … Making plans for this newly unfettered woman to soar upon the wings of a fearless kite.
For here I now sit, basking in the warmth of an alluring new light … Taking hold of it’s rays to illuminate all the dreams I once foolishly, fearfully cast out of my sight.
At the end of the day, who knows what this coming year of 2022 has in store for us all!
That said, I think I’ll choose to hold onto the notion that this new chapter of 2022 will be a pleasing journey ahead.
I mean for me personally…
Oh My Lordy Me!
I certainly DID NOT go through the sheer living hell of the past 18+ months of transformation to sit around and stagnate, much less shove this new unashamedly unfettered sheila back in the proverbial box.
That said, I will most certainly be grabbing hold of that tag-line on the cover of that book to embrace those words for all they are worth, with my own little spin attached for added measure, whether I enjoy the book for itself or not.
Yes, without a doubt I see 2022 as an interesting year ahead!
For what this journey of life has been so far, I am actually quite keen to see exactly where this path leads me, and all those around me next.
And I suppose that in itself is the transformative renewal that is birthed when mortality chooses to make itself known!
Which of course is a story for another day…
Yes, it certainly was a way of Seeing Out 2021 In A Whole New Style!
