Hi there, and welcome!
I’m Rebecca, the creator and writer of this rambling little blog.
“But I Digress … Chronically!” is just my little piece of the internet to throw my thoughts out into the world while living and pondering this beautifully maddening weirdness we call the journey of life.
Although this blog may have begun with chronic illness, it is a blog that has grown to become so much more about enjoying the good things in this life, while facing life’s inevitable challenges head on — constructively — whether abundantly fit and healthy, chronically ill or somewhere in between.
You see, pain, illness and negativity don’t get exclusive rights to the definition of the word “chronic” … At least, not in in my little corner of the world anyway! —Because chronically speaking, there are many aspects of every person’s character and life that are persistently positive. Or at the very least, positively recurring!
And yes, maybe there are some aspects of life that are mundane or even simply not worth a mention, but that doesn’t automatically make those chronically mundane aspects of life a bad thing either.
For as challenging as my own personal journey has been, I have just as many positive experiences and thoughts on life to share in between all the detours of life’s uphill battles, medical brick walls and all the ordinary moments in life that appear to pass by unnoticed … Uplifting moments and life’s little treasures that are way too good not to share.
So please, excuse me as I digress my way through from one topic, thought or emotion to the next on this one little blog, exploring all the positively curious and amazing aspects of life. —And yet, at the same time continuing to accept and share the realities of my medical journey, with the purpose of educating and encouraging other people walking similar paths to mine and the members of my family as they walk this path with me.
From the music that inspires me, to the oddly amusing in this life that causes me to laugh, my thoughts on life in general and everything in between.
I’ll be sharing some of my own poetry and short stories, spiritual ponderings and the fascinations of this life that grab my attention through ancestral discoveries, nostalgic musings and so much more … It’s all on this one little blog! (Along with maybe a tad of a rant or two.)
Quite frankly, I don’t have the time or energy to maintain anymore than this one little piece of the internet!
Who knows, maybe I’ll even share a recipe every now and then!
So, Who Am I?
At the heart of it, I’m an average Aussie Sheila making the best of life with whatever is thrown my way. —Well, that’s to my way of thinking anyway!
One person’s “average”, I suppose, could be another person’s daydream, nightmare … Or maybe just plain bonkers!?
Seriously though, I am a plumber’s wife, mother, grandmother and former family business partner. However, underneath all the hats I have worn and all the skills I’ve gained to fulfill each one of those roles in this life — I really am “just a housewife” — and quite content to wear my no airs and graces housewifey-ness with pride.
Which of course, really is just the tip of the iceberg of who I am.
And in the context of this blog, who I am beneath the surface — is a prolific writer.
Oh, I am well aware that I will not be everyone’s cup of tea! (Nobody ever is!) … I also very much realise that I am far too verbose for many people, and being self taught my style of writing will no doubt infuriate those who have been educated in the craft of writing.
Nonetheless, writing is what I love to do!
I write to tell the stories that would otherwise not be told, to spark conversation, make connections with other people, empathise, encourage and even learn. —But I supposed most of all, I write to remember the experiences of a life that no other person has lived to tell the story of, along with sharing what I can of the knowledge I have gained along this journey.
For more than a decade I have put my hand to blogging on and off where time and life’s circumstances have permitted. That said, when I began this blog, during 2018 — under the name “Broken Silence of the Chronically Smiling” — it was from a very different perspective; one in which I was a 45 year old woman finally breaking my silence as a wife and a mother hiding many painful truths behind a beaming smile that had become the mask of my public persona.
My smile being a mask I had learnt to wear from my earliest childhood memories — but even more so, increasingly from the age of 17 — to hide the pain of physical injuries from multiple car accidents, chronic illness, navigating prolonged religious control and enduring a number of extremely toxic relationships along the way (not confined to romantic relationships) … All while being perpetually dismissed by a medical community that is failing so many, my health and quality of life steadily slipping away from me.
Unfortunately for me, as with many, the mask of my smile along with my enduring “She’ll be right!” or “I’m fine thanks!” attitude of silently pushing through the harshest battles of my life became my biggest downfall. —The suppression of the truth behind my outward appearance eventually giving way to an inevitable breaking point…
A break down!
Bringing with it a new chapter of my life to begin.
My strength now comes from defiant authenticity and unabashed openness, breaking my silence in a world that told me long ago the only thing it valued from me was my silence!
The eccentricities that have been portrayed to me throughout my entire life as my defects, weaknesses and shortcomings to be ashamed of and hidden away — now firmly embraced and so much more understood as my most valuable attributes and greatest strengths!
I wont ever claim to be the greatest of writers, or even hold my thoughts and opinions out as absolute truths that should be embraced by any other person … But what you can always expect from my writing, is unwavering frankness poured out through the heart — that is worn just a smidge too often — on my sleeve.
The Mission!?
I am sure there is a mission in here somewhere to make a statement about!?
That’s it! … Got it! … It is my hope that those who visit this blog will be able to take something positive from my story and my thoughts about this beautifully maddening weirdness we call the journey of life; in just the same way that other people’s stories and thoughts have given me hope, reassurance, new avenues to explore medically, new and expanded upon topics of interest for me to obsessively delve into even further, and even a simple smile when I have needed it the most.
Feel free to leave your own thoughts and enter into discussion with other readers through the comment section on each individual post or associated social media.
If you would like to contact me privately you can email me at butidigress@protonmail.com, or alternatively you can direct message me via any of my social media accounts, such as Facebook or Instagram.
So, here’s to embracing all those curiously weird, often amusing and beautifully simple things in this life that seemingly pass each one of us by … While at the same time accepting the detours along the way that force each one of us to seek answers, learn and grow — whether each of those those detours is our own personal heaven, hell or at a cross roads somewhere between the two. ☕
Why not join me for a while! 👣
